From Rabbi Craig Mayers
August/September 2019
Three little words.” I’ve heard that phrase before, but I nearly always thought those three little words were “I love you.” I recently came across a blog by writer Chris Brogan, who began a tradition of starting each new year by declaring three little words that would define his goals, hopes, and dreams for the coming year. As we approach the High Holiday season, and our Jewish New Year, our thoughts and focus are turned inward as we seek to improve ourselves. Perhaps we Jews invented the notion of “New Year’s Resolutions”!
Brogan’s blog* includes some helpful advice for forming your own three-word set for the new year. He describes his own process as follows, “Make the words such that they influence your choice of actions, encourage you to decide in favor of your goals, and guide you towards lasting results that you want to experience throughout the year.” He suggests that we, “Write these words down. Post them everywhere. Schedule them to pop up in your calendar. And use these words as part of your decision-making process every day.”* Imagine - just three little words to frame our whole new year.
Three is something of a magic number in Judaism, appearing many times in our philosophy and liturgy. For example, Pirke Avot (1:2) says that the entire world stands on only three things- on Torah, on worship, and gemilut chasadim, loving acts of kindness. If we were to follow the advice of Pirke Avot, our three little words as we enter 5780 might be: learning, holiness, and kindness. Three very worthy thoughts indeed!
The Torah says, “V’ahavta l’rayacha kamocha;” which is again just three little words in Hebrew: love your neighbor as yourself. Known as the Golden Rule, Rabbi Akiva identified this as the most important principle in the Torah. Also not a bad choice!
Mystical interpretations of the meaning of three say that the number three symbolizes a harmony that includes and synthesizes two opposites. The unity symbolized by the number three isn’t accomplished by getting rid of number two; rather, three merges the two to create a new entity, one that harmoniously includes both opposites. Three is magical indeed.
So, by now I hope that you’re thinking about your three little words for 5780. Take a few minutes and brainstorm with the folks around you, and keep in mind some basics to help you choose:
I am now going to share my three little words for 5780 with you. They are: Grow, Reach, Care.
Brogan’s blog* includes some helpful advice for forming your own three-word set for the new year. He describes his own process as follows, “Make the words such that they influence your choice of actions, encourage you to decide in favor of your goals, and guide you towards lasting results that you want to experience throughout the year.” He suggests that we, “Write these words down. Post them everywhere. Schedule them to pop up in your calendar. And use these words as part of your decision-making process every day.”* Imagine - just three little words to frame our whole new year.
Three is something of a magic number in Judaism, appearing many times in our philosophy and liturgy. For example, Pirke Avot (1:2) says that the entire world stands on only three things- on Torah, on worship, and gemilut chasadim, loving acts of kindness. If we were to follow the advice of Pirke Avot, our three little words as we enter 5780 might be: learning, holiness, and kindness. Three very worthy thoughts indeed!
The Torah says, “V’ahavta l’rayacha kamocha;” which is again just three little words in Hebrew: love your neighbor as yourself. Known as the Golden Rule, Rabbi Akiva identified this as the most important principle in the Torah. Also not a bad choice!
Mystical interpretations of the meaning of three say that the number three symbolizes a harmony that includes and synthesizes two opposites. The unity symbolized by the number three isn’t accomplished by getting rid of number two; rather, three merges the two to create a new entity, one that harmoniously includes both opposites. Three is magical indeed.
So, by now I hope that you’re thinking about your three little words for 5780. Take a few minutes and brainstorm with the folks around you, and keep in mind some basics to help you choose:
- Don’t choose a phrase. Brogan (correctly) says that this is limiting. Each word should stand on its own and be equally important to the others. Why waste a word on “the”?
- Don’t make an acronym (cool as that may be) if it means sacrificing the strength of one or more of your words. Your three little words don’t have to be a sentence, or even make sense together.
- Stick with your words if you can – don’t change them mid-year.
- Don’t worry about explaining the meaning of the three little words to others – if you understand what they represent, that’s all that matters.
I am now going to share my three little words for 5780 with you. They are: Grow, Reach, Care.
Grow is a verb, in the command form, demanding. I have growth to do in several areas - in my education, career development, etc. Grow for me means to gain wisdom and thrive in the environment in which Hashem has planted me, so to speak.
Reach – I was originally going to use “outreach” but realized that isn’t quite right. Yes, of course I wish to continue to outreach we are doing, both to the unaffiliated Jewish community and to our interfaith neighbors. But I also want to work harder to reach the members of TBS – the folks that are already here - in new ways that stimulates them to grow and engage. To reach in, as well as reach out is a continued goal of mine. An author once wrote, “to make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful or perfect - you just have to care.” Care is my third little word for this year. As a rabbi, I am exposed to the pain, hardship and suffering of others all too often. I pray that I will never forget that the goal of caring for others is the essence of this position. “People don’t care how much you know,” it has wisely been noted, “but rather they should know how much you care.”
So there you have it, my three little words for 5780: Grow, Reach, Care. What will your three little words be this year? I look forward to hearing the interesting choices you will make!
From my family to yours, L’Shana Tovah Tikateivu V’Techateimu – may you be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a year that brings fulfillment of all worthy desires - for you, for all Israel, and all the world!
Rabbi Craig Mayers
הרב יונה בן גרשון
* https://chrisbrogan.com/3words2019/
Reach – I was originally going to use “outreach” but realized that isn’t quite right. Yes, of course I wish to continue to outreach we are doing, both to the unaffiliated Jewish community and to our interfaith neighbors. But I also want to work harder to reach the members of TBS – the folks that are already here - in new ways that stimulates them to grow and engage. To reach in, as well as reach out is a continued goal of mine. An author once wrote, “to make a difference in someone’s life you don’t have to be brilliant, rich, beautiful or perfect - you just have to care.” Care is my third little word for this year. As a rabbi, I am exposed to the pain, hardship and suffering of others all too often. I pray that I will never forget that the goal of caring for others is the essence of this position. “People don’t care how much you know,” it has wisely been noted, “but rather they should know how much you care.”
So there you have it, my three little words for 5780: Grow, Reach, Care. What will your three little words be this year? I look forward to hearing the interesting choices you will make!
From my family to yours, L’Shana Tovah Tikateivu V’Techateimu – may you be inscribed and sealed in the Book of Life for a year that brings fulfillment of all worthy desires - for you, for all Israel, and all the world!
Rabbi Craig Mayers
הרב יונה בן גרשון
* https://chrisbrogan.com/3words2019/
